I've just experienced an extremely illuminating weekend. It is family related which is why I'm posting it here.
Onike lost her 25 year-old cousin Nadline Morsha-Taylor recently, who left both parents, an 8 year-old son, and two siblings. We went to the funeral in Maryland, and as is usual with that branch of the Frazers , they were all there in full effect, rallying round, whether in joy or sorrow. I say Frazer's because Nadline's mother Madline Morsha-Taylor (also aunty Paulina or aunty Polly) was Frazer before marriage.
During the funeral service I was quite tearful. As the father of three girls I was wondering where I would get the strength to bury one of them, and praying I'd never need to find out. I noticed that the service program included a tribute by aunty Paulina and I was prepared for a flood of tears, a mother unable to complete her tribute, and one of the saddest scenes ever. Well, aunty Polly stepped up, described the positive effect Nadline had on all those with whom she came in contact during her brief life, and demonstrated the strength to be derived from an unshakeable faith in God. It was incredible. She admonished those with tears in their eyes, pointing out that Nadline would not have appreciated that, and frankly, embarassed me into wiping my eyes quick time, before someone asked me, "what have you got to cry about?"
I had also wondered what we would do about the fact that the day after the funeral was Mother's Day. How would we avoid celebrating when a mother amongst us would be enduring such pain? Well, we didn't seek to avoid Mother's day, we embraced it. We went to visit Nadline at the cemetary and wish her a happy Mother's Day, and we then visited aunty Mary, beloved late wife of uncle Bunting (also known as Dwight), a much missed member of this family, who was also interred at the same cemetary. We wished her also a Happy Mother's day, and uncle Bunting warned the late Mr Chin in the next grave, to keep his distance and not try anything funny.
Beyond aunty Polly's incredible strength, also demonstrated by uncle Mosh(as I call him, though his name is Herbert), Elijah, Nadline's son, Gladys & Herbert Jr, the siblings, the weekend demonstrated the strength of family. It has been strange returning to New York and having my workmates and others asking solemnly, "How was the funeral?" I find that everything I have to say about the funeral and the weekend is positive. The overwhelming emotions and memories of burying a 25 year-old loved one are positive. Not to negate the sadness, but that's not what we dwelt on. Family came from various states, plus Sierra Leone and England. They dropped everything. Aunty Polly's siblings rallied immediately and completely, plus all the children, grandchildren in-laws. Incredible.
Onike always says that there are two families she admires for their unity and shared love, The Terry family, being my mother, her siblings, and their offspring, and the Frazer family, the branch of aunty Polly, her siblings, and their offspring. After this weekend, I couldn't be prouder to belong to both. As aunty Polly and I shared in a quiet moment on the weekend, "Wouldn't it be wonderful if all families could function like that?" Indeed!
Name the FamilyAlthough I've referred to the Frazer family, it includes people with myriad other names, Morsha-Taylor of course, Akinsulure, Smith, Akinsulure-Smith, Bowen-Wright, During, Rickford and more. Please feel free to help me add the other names
PHOTOGRAPHS
The color photo shows family members outside the church on Mother's Day, while the monochrome photo is of one of the doves released at the graveside.
